Reasons Why You Should Be Wary of El Chupacabra

With all the commotion caused by El Chupacabra in the news as of late, I thought it best to post this little reminder to all would-be sympathizers as to why El Chupacabra is high on the list of things that are going to kill you (right behind trapezoids, which are #1).

1. El Chupacabra is hungry, and wants to eat your sheep.
2. You probably don't have sheep, because we don't live in Wales, now, do we?
3. This means El Chupacabra will still be hungry when he visits your house.
4. Humans are anatomically similar to sheep in many ways.
5. El Chupacabra is not a picky eater, and has poor eye sight.
6. El Chupacabra has been known to mistake sheep for humans.
7. The 2nd amendment is being suppressed increasingly by politicians, and El Chupacabra's tough hide can only be penetrated by armor-piercing full metal jacket rounds 9mm or larger.
8. El Chupacabra does not forgive, and El Chupacabra does not forget.

Remember that the best offense against El Chupacabra is a good defense. And now you know.

And knowing is half the battle.